...born from a wish...

I'm spending my break in the dressing/bathroom. I've been holding back tears for the past couple hours, but even now that I've found somewhere to retreat, they won't come.

I know no one cares about the internal workings of my heart and mind (not to say that you don't *care*, just that no one wants to listen to me whine) so I really won't go into details. I've been trying to stay strong, but it feels like the ground is crumbling beneath my feet and all I can do is watch, helplessly.

I feel so terribly lost and probably more alone than ever. I'm thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life, but I still feel like no one really knows me. I feel constantly on guard and uneasy around everyone, like I can't just be me and who I am is okay. I feel like I don't really have a "family" to retreat to and just feel loved despite whatever is going on elsewhere in life.

I've come to realize that my mother's "love" comes with a price and in return she feels entitled to buy your love. I'm feeling terribly resentful right now for my upbringing, and while I'm grieving at the moment, I'm trying to come to terms with my reality. My mother is not a mother and I am the only one who's going to take care of me in this life.

Where does one go when they have no where else to go?

Hey all! Jumping on the ebay wagon again. I'm in need of extra cash and I've listed my Sportacus dress up set for auction. If you know anyone who might be interested, please forward my link as I could really use the money.

Super SPORTACUS set NIB - Perfect for HALLOWEEN!

juksette, are you still a member of any LazyTown communities? Could you post my link there? Thanks in advance <3

OTHER EBAY SHENANIGANS

Final Fantasy 8 Wall Scroll - NEW!

1. 2. 3.

( Take your pick! )

I'm also selling a Kill Bill action figure of The Bride in her yellow suit, NIB. Possibly more to come!

( Action Figures )

I meant to post this sooner.



Sorry for the boobage, but you don't censor Bettie. She will be missed... <3

I can do anything! I was in a... Boy Band, ok?

I'm selling some stuff. BUY IT!

Chobits DVD Box Set + BONUS DVD

CHOBITS Japanese Manga Box Set

More to come...

I don't care if any of you care or if anyone reads this, but I have to post about it because it just breaks my heart.

I was at a Valentine's Day party at a friend's house tonight, where I was followed by this cat to and from the party. My friend told me the story behind this cat and a part of me died. It belongs to the people who live below her. They recently had a baby, which the cat resented so it started to pee on things in protest. So for the last 2 months this cat has basically lived in exile. They won't let it in the house anymore and, until, recently had nothing to sleep on but cold concrete, especially on these particularly cold and rainy nights. I don't even know if they feet the poor thing! And it's desperate for attention. The poor thing cries. And I understand that animals are survivors because I know it's part of their nature, but it's particularly cruel to get an animal accustomed to domestic living and then to cast it out on the streets. Yes, it'll get by, but there's something that had become a part of them that is now lost. And it especially angers me that these people, knowing that they were no longer taking responsibility for this cat didn't bother to find it a new home; especially making a ridiculous demand that they have visitation rights. I'm sorry, but you hold no rights if you assume no responsibility.

I recently got in touch with the local cat adoption groups in my area, looking to possibly volunteer for them, so tomorrow I'm going to give them a call to see if they might be able to find a home for it. I would totally take her in myself, but I don't think my mom would be too keen on that idea.

Just for the sake of asking, is there anyone in the state of California that would be interested in adopting this cat?

This Journal Are Belong To Friends Only! :O



Comment to be considered.